new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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