covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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