So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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