I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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