so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
