How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize