hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
