Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
