Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
