It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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