Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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