since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Actions speak louder than pants.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize