You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
