she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
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