Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
