You work out of a Hotel?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
