I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
