the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
