Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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