Where is the hickey?
You can't motorboat a personality
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
