4 words: hood of his car
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
