Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
