why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
