How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
