I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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