is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
