sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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