My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just want nice things and good sex
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
