My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
