It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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