I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
