I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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