If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
