are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
