wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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