Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
