I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
