They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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