Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
