I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
