2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
