If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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