im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
