Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
