We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
