I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
