If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
