The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
3 2 1 whiskey
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
