i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
