It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
