doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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